Underdogs or Heroes?

I originally wrote this on May 1st, the next day I was told some disheartening news about Kevin.  The night after the event of this post took place Kevin was robbed by a group of area kids.  The end result was not good.  There seemed to be a bit of a scuffle, Kevin is 5'1"-5'2" and he was by himself; he ended up pulling out a knife and well, let's put it this way, no one is dead, but Kevin is in county jail where he will remain until bare minimum his arraignment at the end of the month.  

I believe in every word that wrote about Kev, I know that he has the potential to be a great human being.  

"I am a big fan of the misunderstood, the vilified, 

the underdog, the breaking of myths." - Dominic Monaghan

Over the weekend one of my son's friends contacted me.  He asked me if I had time to help him with a resume.  My first thought was that it has taken me a long time to find a job, are you sure that you want my help?!?  Of course I was willing to lend a hand.

A little background about this particular friend, Kevin, he was never a huge hit with the other parental units among Bryan's crowd.  He is quiet when he doesn't know you, which may make him come across as shady and untrustworthy.  He is always wearing headphones tuning out society and loathes authority.  He is generally bearded and wears gauges in his ears.  He seemed to mix with the wrong people and trouble repeatedly found him.

I try not to judge people, especially teenagers and young people, mainly because they are in this stage for such a short time, trying to find where they fit in.  Some make really bad decisions, but Kevin was always respectful of me and my home and I have a soft spot for the underdog.  After all, someone has to help these boys become the men they are meant to be.

One day, this young man decided he didn't like having to alter his brain every day to feel something or nothing, (I suppose is a better way to put it). Kevin was taking a huge step; he wanted to change, wanted a chance, so he took it.  He is just about to finish his first semester in college, so when I heard he needed help with a resume I was so excited.

He came over on Monday night, as planned, with a ginormous back pack on his back filled with school books and a laptop computer; while I booted up my laptop he gathered the resume information.  As I looked over the information I asked Kevin, who Ralph was, (it was all Ralph’s information in front of me).  "A guy I met on the corner.” he said.  Well, my neck spun around so fast, I am surprised I didn't have whiplash.  WHAT?  Seriously, was this a joke?  I went from proud to heartbroken within a matter of seconds.

It turns out I did not need to be heartbroken, but heart-filled.  Ralph is not a dealer (& I am ashamed now to have even thought that), but a young homeless man who was distributing a newspaper written and distributed by homeless people.  Kevin had been donating to help out Ralph when they started to delve a little deeper in conversation.  Ralph was looking for a job and Kevin offered to help.

Ralph's information was extensive; this was an educated young man.  His resume proved that he was educated and could hold a job.  He was descriptive and had a plethora of skill sets.  Why was this young man handing out papers?  I'll never know, but if I can be a small part in helping Ralph get back on his feet the way so many have helped me, please let me.

I am so proud of my son's friend.  Kevin doesn't get applauded for much or ask for it, lately he has been flying under the radar, doing school work and generally trying to lay-low; however, I could not let this go unnoticed.  I am proud and thankful that he came to me to help and I am also honored to say that I think of Kevin as another son.  I hope and pray that Bryan and all of his friends create an amazing path for each of their lives.  It would be outstanding if they all chose to help others while their doing it.

Twenty Years.

Confession:  I originally wrote this 2 weeks ago, I haven't pressed publish until today because I was scared.  I was scared that it was too personal, what would people think?  Then I was reminded today, at my part-time job, of today's date, February 8th.  It's a day that I will never ever forget.  It's a day that changed my life forever and since when do I give an eff what people think?

As I was sitting in the waiting room of my gynecologist's office this morning I realized that it has been 20 years that I have been going there.  This February will be 20 years since I found out that I was pregnant; 20 years, but I remember just like it was yesterday.

The winter of 1993-1994 was endless.  I was working at Little Caesar's Pizza inside of the Warminster K-mart, I rang the new year in with my new-ish boyfriend, Dan, at a New Years party (Dan wasn't much of a partier at the time.  Me?  I was always a partier), it was going to be a fantastic new year, I had just started a new semester at Bucks County Community College; everything was perfect and normal for this 18 year old.

It was so cold, ice storms, snow storms and blizzards made the weather just miserable .  I remember being able to go sledding down the William Tennet High School's hill what seemed like every other day.  I was still a kid, doing kid things and loving every minute of it.

[This is where it gets personal...continue on, but don't say that you weren't warned!]

Then, I had mentioned to Dan that I hadn't gotten my period in a while, but I wasn't "regular" so I had not been freaking out.  (COMPLETE DENIAL.)  He was freaking out though!  We went to a random pharmacy in the area that week and picked up a test.  It wasn't long before we found out the results.  I was sobbing, and unfortunately they weren't the "happy tears" many of my friends experience today; so many thoughts were going through my head, but I was grasping at straws and still not convinced.  Maybe the UTI that I had had faltered the test, (COMPLETE DENIAL.) so I made an appointment with my primary physician where they took blood work.

I received a phone call from the doctor within the next couple of days, which I was lucky to intercept.  Keep in mind that I lived with my parents and siblings, there weren't cell phones, so it was imperative that I be the one to answer this call.  The nurse simply stated that the pregnancy test came back positive and that I should make an appointment with an obstetrician, then she said something about my "bun in the oven" and I didn't hear a word after that.  F&@K!!  All of a sudden I was a adult, making adult decisions.

I had to figure out how to tell everyone and by "everyone", I mean my parents.  I am still here to talk about it, so obviously I survived, but it was THE MOST TERRIFYING experience of my life.  They wanted answers that I couldn't provide.  How are you going to do this?  How is/that going to happen?  Is he going to stay with you?  Screaming ensued.  I was a scared little girl, who was already 8 weeks pregnant with her new-ish boyfriend's child.  I was 18 years old and Dan was 17 years old.  It was the rest of our lives we were planning, there were way more questions then answers and I barely had any answers.

My parents calmed down and when Bryan was born they loved him more than words could express.  It turns out that my new-ish boyfriend stuck around and became a great father; as a teenage mom I had no idea what I was doing, I felt like "mom's" should know more than I did and thought how was I going to teach a kid when I was still learning?

I found out that if you ask for help people will help you.  God has placed some very significant people in my life and on my path.  I am so grateful for EVERYTHING, no matter how great or small.  Everything matters when you're in need.  God saw that I needed great friends and delivered.  It really does take a village.

This September Bryan will be 20 years old and I have been blessed enough to raise this outspoken, opinionated, honest, and one of the most loyal guys that I have ever met.  He is ridiculously confident and funny, and he's easy to talk to.  He's had his share of shenanigans, but he wouldn't be our child if he didn't.

20 years ago, I had a decision to make, I thank God everyday that I made the right one.

Friends are the family that you choose!!

I just finished having an amazing visit with an old friend & I SO NEED IT!!

Everyone has different groups of friends throughout their life, sometimes throughout their day; school friends, work friends, gym friends, childhood friends, etc.; all special, all important, all there to get us through.  I have honestly been blessed beyond belief with so many very special people that have come in (and some out of) my life.  Yes, I love even those people who were once my friend and now are not.  I just do.  I have grown from the relationships I have had, all of them!  I know that there is a reason why they were put in my life & for whatever reason that is or was, I cherish those moments we spent.

I have different friends I go to for different things.  It sounds weird, but it's true.  I tell my best friend of 30+ years EVERYTHING.  The woman is my sister.  Her family is my family.  BUT there are other people who make me feel just as good, who know exactly what to say.  I have friends who I call when I am down about guy things, I have friends that I talk to about family, I even have friends I discuss spiritual stuff with.  I am gifted with these beautiful people who know exactly what to say to me and know when I need them.

There are others who take me away from reality, who, when I am with them I have such a great time that I actually forget the crappy; people who don't necessarily ask the questions, but are just there for me to listen if I want to talk.  They are the ones who make me laugh, who give my shenanigans right back to me and provide a numerous amount of laughter.

Now, don't get me wrong, we've all had our fights.  Holy moley, do we fight!  We are all very passionate people.  I may be a big personality and sometimes that big personality (along with a big mouth) gets me into some trouble, but my friends will give it right back.  How can you not respect that about someone?!?   Unconditional friendship.

Growth.  Not letting someone who means so much slip away.

I also love bringing all my groups of friends together.  It hasn't happened for a little bit (it happened much more often when my accommodations were bigger), but it needs to happen again soon!  I have known all these people for so long that they all are friends too.  One time one of them said to me, it is crazy how all of your different groups of friends get along so well. That statement is one I think about often.  I even found out a couple of years ago that 2 friends from 2 different circles are distant cousins, who grew up in the same town.

I crave my friends; all of these people who I have nestled in my life.  We have been through tons together.  Good things and bad.  They say that is how you know your friends are true, if they stick around through the tough times.  Well, I am proud to say mine are the truest, realest, bestest people in life.  If I am coming off as being proud right now, it is because I am.

Friends are the family that you choose!

I love my YMCA!!

I love my YMCA!  Yes, it's true.

I have been a member for 2 1/2 years or so.  I go 4 or 5 days a week and most of the time you can find me in a group exercise class.  A couple of weeks ago, it was announced that one of our beloved group exercise instructor would be leaving.  She would be moving back to Florida to accept another position.  She and her family are more then happy to move back to the place that they spent so many years.

All of the members at the YMCA are so saddened by this news.  This woman who is admired by men & women alike.  The YMCA's is about strengthening spirit, mind and body, all of which Cindy represents.  She has warmth and compassion, a positive energy that is through the roof and accompanied by a smile on any given day.  A true roll model for the all members.  Don't let that sweet disposition fool you though!  She will kick your butt in class and makes you want to work for it. Cindy is sweating along with you, wanting you to reach your personal best.

She has brought us together for game nights and fund-raisers; through all these different events she has brought all of her "students" closer.  We all are friends and care about the well being of each other.  We push each other and have this amazing fellowship.  Cindy has done her job and now has to touch other lives the way she has touched all of ours.

Tonight we will be getting together to say bye to her.  To wish her happiness and blessings in the place she loves and calls home.  We are thanking God tonight that she came into our lives and that she has family in the area to come back and visit.