Feeling Like a Rockstar

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  Sarah, In the time that I have known you, you have been one of the brightest people I've had the pleasure of meeting. Your can-do attitude, bubbly personality, and ability to care of others even when you need taking care of yourself is what sets you apart in this world. Although I've known you for only a year or so, I idolize you. You have taken care of your son alone, and he has grown up to be an amazing young man. You started the Bee's Knees, which has raised thousands of dollars to help people with Myeloma. You have kept a positive attitude whenever working late nights at D-- or all day on the weekends, which is hard to do when you're bouncing from one job to the next. Although you may not see it, these, and many more, are the things that will allow you to succeed. I know four years is a big commitment, but there will always be people here supporting you, and we can get through this together! I know you said people have been saying "when one door closes, god opens a window," but I think a better saying would be "when God closes one door, He opens a gate." Windows are small and hard to get through (and no one really wants to go through them), but gates open wide, and after you get through college, I know your gate will be fully open, allowing you to take on opportunities you never imagined possible. I am so proud of you, and I truly believe that people who persist, have a passion, and stay humble and compassionate are the ones who get the farthest in life. I have no doubt in my mind that you will succeed in college and beyond!

I received this email in response to a blog that I wrote regarding my decision to go back to school after 17 years.  It was written by one the young ladies that I work with at my part-time job.  

I keep going back to this message not only because I miss the heck out of all of my kids who are away right now, but because I cannot believe that she is writing about me. The first time I read it my eyes filled, I could hardly get through the message because I was so choked up.

This young woman goes to school in up-state NY, she is brilliant, and has such a bright future ahead of her and lets not forget she's completely adorable!! How could someone who I admire so much for being young in this effed-up world that we live in idolize me?!?  

I can admit this is the biggest compliment a person can receive.  It must be what rock stars feels when the audience is singing back to them or wants their autograph or a quick picture with them.  Yes, that is how amazing I felt, no exaggeration.  If we live our lives inspiring just one person in it, haven't we done our jobs?  Inspiring a girl, a teenage girl is an extraordinary feat.  Remember back to when you were a teenager?  

I know that I brag all the time about my friends and how awesome and supportive they are (because it's true!); to know that I have the support of people who are currently in college and learning who they are themselves makes me want this even more.  I am inspiring people who inspire me!!  It's like a warm hug.

I haven't taken my role in these young men and women's lives lightly; each have a significant place in my heart.  Remember when you first read that quote which states that people are placed into your life for a reason, a season or a life-time? I thoroughly believe that this is true.  I only get to work with these young people for a short time because well, my part-time job is a temporary stop on their life's journey, but the wealth, knowledge and support that I attain from them makes my job fulfilling.

“Life is a bowl of cherries. Some cherries are rotten while others are good; its your job to throw out the rotten ones and forget about them while you enjoy eating the ones that are good! There are two kinds of people: those who choose to throw out the good cherries and wallow in all the rotten ones, and those who choose to throw out all the rotten ones and savor all the good ones.” 
― C. JoyBell C.

He hasn't forgotten about me.

When my son left for college in August I honestly didn't know how I would be able to live without seeing my only child, the love of my life, everyday.  It was one of the hardest days of my life dropping him off at Bloomsburg University.  I got through it, not without a bunch of tears, but I was able to get through it.

The tears?  I guess most mother's cry when their kids leave home for the first time.  I am not generally a crier, but it felt like someone ripped my heart out that day.  Not only because I knew I'd miss him, but because I felt like he would forget me.  Sounds crazy, I know. Sounds irrational, I get it; but I also know my son.  Has my prediction come true?  I have spoken to Bryan on the phone I think three times total since he has left, he texts me when he needs something, mostly funds or to tell me that he is coming home for the weekend.  The first weekend he came home I saw him for 20 minutes total, his bed wasn't even slept in. (Boy, did I voice my opinion about that!!)  The next & only other time that he came home I actually had a meal with him.  Progress! 

He hasn't forgotten about me.  I have come to realize this.  What HAS happened is that I have raised an independent young man; from the time he was 2 weeks old I have had to leave him to go to work or class.  He has learned from a very young age that I would always come for him & that he was never abandoned.  The first day of kindergarten he barely waved good-bye when he was getting on the bus.  He'd spend weekends with his father and I knew he was safe; now, I can only pray that the values, the ground work that I laid was enough.

Why would I think college would be any different? This time he was leaving me. 

How have I fared?  Actually, I am doing really well.  Working two jobs and going to the gym whenever I can certainly has helped to keep me busy. 

My house is clean.  Bryan comes as a package deal.  His friends are always with him, bare minimum 5 guys on a quiet night.  Now, as one knows young men are freaking gross (no offense guys)!!  My toilet paper cost alone has been cut in half.  My shower head is always adjusted to the right setting and I know when we run out of something because I was the last one to use it. 

I miss my baby boy more than anyone can imagine.  I am glad he will be coming home in just a couple of days for Thanksgiving break, but now I know that when he goes back I will be just fine,
he will be just fine and we will be together again at Christmas break.

Nights & weekends

Now that I have a second job in retail, it reminds me of how people are so very different from each other.  I worked in retail for close to 10 years before I put in my resume for the office job that I have now.  Believe me, it was the best move that I have ever made, but at the time the flexible hours of retail suited my single-mother lifestyle.  I have always dealt with customer service in one way, shape or form; the position that I have at my full-time job now is customer service, my customers are now mortgage companies & borrowers instead of retail shoppers, but in the title business it is all about the best service (after all, title premiums are set by law).  The retail world is back in my life and cracks me up (& not always in a good way) a little everyday.

I love people, they make my laugh.  The way we go about things as humans is very interesting to me.  The way we approach situations and deal with others attracts me.  Maybe this is why I choose Psychology as my major in college.  People love to be told how awesome they are and I am just the girl to tell you.

I often call myself a professional flirt; because I work with the public in both jobs and I go by the theory that you attract more flies with honey then vinegar.  It is easy to get what you want with a bat-of-the-eye-lashes or a sincere (or close enough to sincere as possible) compliment.  I will flirt with men, women, children, sales people (if it means I will save a couple of dollars) & most recently my new auto insurance agent who saved me hundreds-of-dollars a month when I added Bryan to my policy, not including the customers that I help on a daily basis.  (This makes me a Psych case all of my own, I'm sure.)

This weekend I noticed that some people get so pissed-off at the stupidest things.  I thought to myself while experiencing a couple of irate customers that if this is the stuff that get under these people's skins then they are lucky.  One customer, was so angry that the girls couldn't get her change of $100 dollars fast enough (she was only buying socks).  She was blessed enough to be buying socks with a hundred dollar bill.  May be she had more going on in her life.  May be she needed those socks for a sick father or mother, may be the cashiers was the icing-on-the-cake for an already very bad day.  Another customer called a one of the young men who works on our team "gay", with a negative connotation, without knowing him at all.  I almost fell over.  Really?  Could you be anymore more ignorant in this day and age?

These instances are just the couple of examples of this weekend & happens to be the minority of our customers, thank goodness, but putting myself back into population in the role of the retail sales associate is going to be more interesting then I can ever remember.  I can tell I will have to bite my tongue and just hope that all these people have bigger things going on at home  and that they are really not that mean; and may be I will be able to brighten someone's day by telling them how awesome they are.

I know my co-workers appreciate that I am their cheerleaders, just like I appreciate when they are mine; we all cheer each other on and encourage a good day.   Sometimes retail isn't SO terrible.

We can never judge the lives of others, because each person knows only their own pain and renunciation. It's one thing to feel that you are on the right path, but it's another to think that yours is the only path. ~Paulo Coelho

busy! please try again later. thanks.

Definition of Busy: adjective,
1. occupied by some activity; at work; not idle
2. full of activity, characterized by much action or motion

The last couple of weeks have been filled with busyness, emotion & a severe lack of time.  My head has been everywhere and no where.  I should be used to this feeling because this has been the typical month of September since Bryan started to walk.  It seems that no matter how much I prepare for it, the month of September NEVER gets to be any easier.

When Bryan was smaller it was filled with birthday party planning and soccer.  Bryan's love for soccer grew to a passion and fall became the time of year for multiple practices a week & all weekend, every weekend games.  Bryan's dad, being a life long soccer player himself, coached every one of Bryan's teams; both were like fish in water.  Enter, the rest of the September fun.

As Bryan got older there came more 'things' to add to our already busy weekly schedule.  Back to School nights, class mom duties, homework, dinner-time (which was always a little piece of hell in my house)...oh yea, working full time and keeping a house.  Let's not forget the little things that drive us all crazy at the beginning of the school year, just picture day can get one frazzled; "I'd like you wear this..." and then the fight erupts.  Every single mom was going through the same thing; why did they seem so much more graceful?  Why did they seem to have everything under control?  Husbands; that was the difference between those moms & myself.  The women who seemed to have it all together had a partner.  Dan was & is my partner in raising Bryan, but we didn't always have the solidarity that we have now; so, yea, I was missing the one factor that I envied in every other graceful, put-together mom.  Help.

These weeks have felt the same, yet completely different then every other year.  It feels the same because we are just was busy as every other September sans soccer; different because at Back to School night my ex-husband and I spoke to Bryan's counselor about the college process.  This was our final Back to School night; a night that I always looked at as an inconvenience is now a part of our history.
Bryan also has passed his driver's license test.  Surprisingly I am not nervous, he has had his permit for nearly a year and has had more then enough time on the road.  Hopefully, he'll stay smart.

The 2nd job is a whole other story.  I am exhausted & working two jobs is taking valuable time away from my YMCA people who I miss tons.  You don't know what a stress reliever the gym is until you can't get there.  Those people hold my sanity in the palms of their hands. 

All these new shenanigans are stressful and yes, time consuming, but this time Dan and I are aligned in the parenting department, so I don't feel as hopelessly sloppy as I did years ago.  YaY me!!

Will Septembers ever get easier?  Sure.  Bryan will eventually graduate from college.  It is then that I will miss the chaos of school nights and the craziness that it invites into everyone's household.  Here's to another four years of living life for my kid and doing the only job I was truly born to do; being Bryan's (not-so) graceful mom and doing it with a smile on my face and a glass of wine in my hand.

Title Scheduler...Your wish is MY command.

My position at Family Abstract, Inc. is loan scheduler.  This position, while quite glamorous is unwanted by most people in the title business.  It means never saying “no”, always being willing to accommodate your clients needs, being sweet as honey and always, I mean ALWAYS being able to find a closer.

You may be saying to yourself, that it sounds easy and truthfully I can say I enjoy my job, but truth be told it does not always go as smoothly as one would think.  Sometimes I find myself receiving a scheduling request at 4:58 p.m. for a closing at 7 p.m. that night.  They want what???  Yes, I read correctly.  Tonight at 7 p.m.  I, of course respond with, of course we can accommodate that.  I quickly begin my search for an available closer.  Hoping and praying that all my closers aren’t already booked for 7 p.m. which happens to be when everyone wanted to close that night.  Oh my goodness, the minutes are ticking by and everyone is booked.  Finally, after what seems like a lifetime I am able to locate a closer who can fit this last minute closing in.  I am thanking God that the borrowers were flexible because, since it took a little bit for me to locate a notary they would never make it to the borrower’s home by 7 p.m., after all we just sent the edocs.  They still have to print and make copies for the borrower.

In the end, I feel good that I have done my job and once again accommodated a seemingly impossible closing scenario.  When people work together to get the big picture accomplished it makes for better business, loyal clients and most importantly happy borrowers.

…all in a days work.  Is there anything else that I can help you with?