2013, SEE YA!!

2013 WAS A RUTHLESS BITCH; from the beginning to the end.  Some years are like that, life lessons, growing stronger...yes, I get it.  Well, I am over it!  Turning lemons in to lemonade, I know every positive thought there is, trust me.

Maybe it is odd numbered years that I struggle with?  I am a bit OCD.

I am looking forward to 2014.  Realistically, I know just because you hang up a brand new calendar it doesn't necessarily mean things will change.  I will make them change.  I will take the shit that was handed to me in 2013 and turn it into sugar.  I have a faithful God who is looking over me and is giving me opportunities.  He has blessed me so much thus far, I can hardly lose faith now, not when I need it the most.

I have enjoyed some of it, I won't lie.  It started off a bit rocky for Bryan and I, if you recall.  I love this person more than I could ever imagine, unconditionally; this year taught me that.  I don't know if people actually realize this until something threatens their relationship with their child; illness, circumstance, what-have-you.  Of course, I have always loved Bryan unconditionally even before he was born, but when there is a real chance that you may lose that relationship "that love" changes into some unexplainable love.  It was such a struggle for me to let him grow; it sounds so natural, him leaving home and becoming more independent; it's not.  At least not for this Momma Bear.  It was losing control, worry and anxiety.  Letting him go was the hardest thing that EVER had to do in my life. (I surrendered to therapy and started feeling much better, by the way.) He doesn't agree, but I think he has grown as person.  I hope 2014 brings him wisdom and he sees the opportunities life hands him and takes advantage of them.

Also, I have seen so many people that I love having an amazing 2013 and as I said before, seeing my friends and their families flourish makes me happy; their gorgeous children, other halves and friends having geniune fabulous times.  I appreciate their happiness, it has become a realization that life is too short to not appreciate the little things.  Cherish every detail, every memory and keep posting because I know that my happiness is right around the corner and in-the-mean-time, I'll cherish yours.

So, see ya 2013...Here's to a FABULOUS 2014!  Making memories, living life, laughing, loving & cherishing EVERY SINGLE MOMENT.

Reflect and Be Thankful

It's Thanksgiving!!  All over the United States Americans are reflecting on the things that they are most thankful for.  It isn't a secret that 2013 has been a struggle for me and that I have absolutely had some up and down, but as I reflect this year I am thankful for so many things.

First of all I am thankful for my relationship with my son.  I am so blessed to have him in my life; being a young mom hasn't always been easy, but Bryan's existence has made me a better person.  It has weeded out people who shouldn't be in my life and he has brought people into my life who I can't imagine living without.  Bryan is teaching me all the time.  I hope that we never stop learning from each other and only become closer and he grows into and embraces his fabulousness even more (if that's possible!) and becomes the young man God created him to be.

Then, there is my Pop.  My darling father.  Jim Burns is my inspiration and an all around remarkable human being.  If you are ever blessed enough to meet him, then you are one lucky person.  My father is a recovering alcoholic and has been sober for 17 years. He has been battling cancer for close to 5 years; he is literally in pain everyday, but I never hear him complain.  He lost his wife, my mother, close to 2 years ago.  He is still fighting each and everyday and had such faith that everything is just as they were meant to be.  I am thankful for my conversations with him; he is so insightful.  We don't always agree, but always hear each other.  He loves sports, westerns and loves to make people laugh.  He is truly on of my best friends.


I am thankful for our 14 year old dog, Leo AKA Leonard DiCaprio (da Vinci if you ask Bryan) Puppychow Heek Boyer.  He has been through thick and thin with Bryan and I and still loves us.  Leo is sweet and annoying and as handsome as can be, recently he has been having some health issues, but it makes me appreciate him even more and what an important part of the family he has been.

I don't know how to put into words how thankful I am for ALL of my AMAZING friends.  I know that everyone thinks that they have the greatest friends and that is a blessing if you can express that, but I am here to say that I am blessed each and everyday with the privileged of knowing the kindest people ever.  The Lord has been so gracious to have placed these people in my life; some for decades, some more recently, their loyalty is unwavering.  I am forever grateful for them.

I am thankful for those men and woman who voluntarily join the Armed Forces; also for their families who also have to sacrifice so much for them to be the brave people they were destine to be.  Thank you.  There aren't enough thank yous for your decision to protect us.

As I sit here typing this blog I am thankful for my tiny apartment, "The Attic".  I am thankful for the heat that is pumping through the radiators.  I pray for those who are homeless and aren't able to find shelter.

Losing my job just a few weeks ago has opened my eyes to what could disappear SO easily and what many Americans have lost. Everything that I am looking at in my home right now is because I have been blessed, but when you are knocked down a few pegs these things are just things when you don't have the love, support and positivity of the people who you surround yourself with.

I hope everyone takes  the time to reflect on all of the things in their lives, everything that has lead up to this moment and has made you who you are. If you are blessed enough to spend time with your family on holidays and special occasions, pray for those who spend these same days alone.