Voilà, lemonade is served.

There are so many reason's why I write this blog; the biggest reason would probably be my sanity.  Getting all the thoughts and feeling in my head out in a public forum?  Yea, it is totally not something that I am always comfortable with.  One might say it is a little outside my box.  I do it because it keeps me honest with myself and brings me back to my basic beliefs and values which I think most people struggle with on a daily basis.  I am here to admit that I struggle and I am on a journey to be the person that I want to be.


Lately, a friendship was ended because this person claimed that they needed more positivity in their life.  More positivity?  Well, good luck with that because my cup is 99.9% full. (Yes, I have my days, but seriously I am a ray of sunshine!)  Life has given me lemons-a-plenty, and voilà, lemonade is served.

I get stressed.  Who doesn't?  Recently, I have been super-stressed and told the world.  Did me voicing my craziness to the world help me?  Maybe, maybe not, but hopefully it made someone feel like they're not alone in feeling like a hot mess on what seems to be any given day.

I am learning that life doesn't get ANY easier when kids grow up.  I have spent many hours waiting for the next step.  The easier days, the days when I wouldn't have to pay for daycare anymore because he was old enough for before-and-after school care (& it was so much cheaper - I couldn't wait to hand over that last check to day care.)  Then, I was counting the days until Bryan could come home on his own. (He was a latch-key kid; terrible mommy, I know.) I was nervous when he reached that age, but he was always so responsible.  He got his first cell phone and since then he has 'checked in' with me everyday.  He used to call the office, tell me about his day & let me know what homework he had, now I get a text message that merely says "checking in".  I guess it is being human to want the next thing, but the next thing is starting to freak me out!!!  
Bryan is looking for a car and applying to colleges.  My child will soon be taking the next step.  STRESS; where there is stress there are short fuses and bickering; leading to more stress.  There is no easy days when you're a parent, but I can sit in the recliner and look at my son and say, "Wow, I did that."  SURREAL & SCARY!!  Until someone comes up to you and says what a good kid he is, then scary turns into PRIDE.

My whole life I have been playing dodge ball with lemons, I have learned to juggle and squeeze these bitter little bastards, and I know that I am no where near done.  I do know for sure that the people that I have surrounded myself with and the love and support of my friends, Bryan & I can do anything.  We are one tribe and we carry each other to and through the next steps, good or bad.