When God Closes a Door, He Opens a Window

I cannot believe that I have only written 9 blogs this year.  Pathetic.  I have had so much to say.

A few months ago I had been dealing with my anxiety, my very horrible anxiety that lasted throughout the whole entire summer.  Alas, I surrendered and got the help that I needed to get myself in check and start to feel like myself again.

Now as most of you know for the last two plus years I have had 2 jobs.  I like to keep myself busy and more importantly out of my head.  At the end of this past September, things changed suddenly at my full-time job.  I came back from lunch and I found out that one of our biggest clients was closing its doors; over the next few weeks there were meetings upon meetings and lots of ideas being tossed in the air to try to keep the doors of the office, which seemed like home to me, open.  Unfortunately, my bosses had to make some very difficult decisions.  They had no choice but to lay myself and most of my co-workers off.

This has been especially hard because this is a job that I liked a lot.  I left for a couple of years, but was offered my job back, so without hesitation I found my way home.  This particular job has had many highs and lows.  I have met so many amazing people who have been an incredible help to Bryan and I throughout my 11 years knowing them.  I have cried when life got hard and they cried with me and laughter GALORE!!  We yelled at each other and made up.  They embraced me and held my hands, never leaving my side when I got the news that my mother died suddenly.  I was meant to be around people who loved me.

There are the people who I was in contact with daily.  The other people who filled my days with laughter.  My favorites who were now out of work as well.  I miss their voices.  We worked like a well-oiled machine together.  I was glad to have them in my life.

October rolls around and I am job hunting.  My full-time job has become finding a full-time job.  It is exhausting.  I am explaining to people my current situation and they are uber-positive that I will be employed in no time.  "When God closes a door, He opens a window" they say.  I have been hearing this phrase in a variety of different way for weeks now; all true, but I need to find this window.

I do believe life gives one opportunities and one can either waste them or cultivate them.  I can't sit at home and waste my brain on day-time TV, so with this opportunity that God presented me with I think I will be going back to school.  A four-year college is in my immediate future and I am scared.  It has been 15 years since I took my last class at community college and EVERYTHING has changed.  EVERYTHING!!

I am a notorious commitment-phobe in every aspect of my being.  It is the scariest thing ever for me, so committing myself to a four-year college is huge, but this is a subject for a different blog.

Don't worry I will still be job searching; I have an interview suit ready for when I am able to land one and I am excited to get back to work.  I had to peek out this open window and see what this other path offered...apparently life has other plans for me.