for better or worse, if you will.

Earlier this week I had some concerns about my son, so I expressed my worries to my ex-husband.  Heck, why should I be the only one worried about the choices that he is making or soon will make. 
A little bit of background...My ex-husband is the father of my child.  We had our son very young. He was still in high school (11th grade) & I was in my first year of college.  We also had the bright idea to get married just a couple of years later; all of which has made us who are today.  We bought our house in the suburbs at just 22 years old, sadly by 24 years old we were separated, got rid of the house and the battles began.  First child support, simply because I needed to survive; then custody, which was easy and standard, every other weekend and one day during the week he had our son.  We spent a few years going back to court to get the child support adjusted which I suppose is normal in any case.
At one point, I had to put my ex-husband in jail because he was so far in arrears.  Little does he know that I cried for 2 days after I found out.  He still was the father of my child and I never wanted to have to do something that dramatic, but needed to take a stand and prove that I wasn't going to be played.  I even took our son to visit him and accepted his calls from prison so he was able to speak to our son.
After a while and numerous amounts of wasted negative energy, the fighting subsided & we got on the same page.  We were both interested in the same thing, raising our son and achieving the best for him that we could.
This is why we had lunch today.  To meet about our lovely teenage son, his goals & his future.  It was nice catching up with him.  I asked him about his long time girlfriend, who seems to be a great person (she actually seems like someone I'd be friends with) and her young daughter.  He asked about my parents and who I was currently dating. 
We are now friends.  I can say that.  I probably am one of his, if not his oldest friend.  He listens, gives advice & I do the same for him,  We fight, but make-up.  We don't judge each other because we have both made bad decisions and learned from them.  We have watched each other grow-up.  If someone were to ask, I would say he is a soul-mate.  I believe that people have more than one in their life-time; many even, if they're blessed.  He was not "The One".  At least not for me to be married to for the rest of my life, but I believe he was the one that God wanted to remain in my life; for better or worse, if you will... 

Title Scheduler...Your wish is MY command.

My position at Family Abstract, Inc. is loan scheduler.  This position, while quite glamorous is unwanted by most people in the title business.  It means never saying “no”, always being willing to accommodate your clients needs, being sweet as honey and always, I mean ALWAYS being able to find a closer.

You may be saying to yourself, that it sounds easy and truthfully I can say I enjoy my job, but truth be told it does not always go as smoothly as one would think.  Sometimes I find myself receiving a scheduling request at 4:58 p.m. for a closing at 7 p.m. that night.  They want what???  Yes, I read correctly.  Tonight at 7 p.m.  I, of course respond with, of course we can accommodate that.  I quickly begin my search for an available closer.  Hoping and praying that all my closers aren’t already booked for 7 p.m. which happens to be when everyone wanted to close that night.  Oh my goodness, the minutes are ticking by and everyone is booked.  Finally, after what seems like a lifetime I am able to locate a closer who can fit this last minute closing in.  I am thanking God that the borrowers were flexible because, since it took a little bit for me to locate a notary they would never make it to the borrower’s home by 7 p.m., after all we just sent the edocs.  They still have to print and make copies for the borrower.

In the end, I feel good that I have done my job and once again accommodated a seemingly impossible closing scenario.  When people work together to get the big picture accomplished it makes for better business, loyal clients and most importantly happy borrowers.

…all in a days work.  Is there anything else that I can help you with?

On Demand Generation

I had my son more than 10 years before most of my friends started having children.  One decade, just one decade is all it took to see a massive difference in parenting.  When my son was a toddler we did not have access to the technology of today.  A phone that is a computer too; that was something from “The Jetsons”, but alas they are here & beneficial to many including myself.

My son watched TV as a toddler; it was not something that I kept from him.  I believe most of the shows on channels such as PBS & Nick Jr., etc. are educational in moderation, but if a show my son wanted to watch wasn’t on when he wanted, he would have to wait; maybe even until the next day.  Today, with the invention of “On Demand” children are able to watch what they want, when they want.  Never having to wait for Arthur to come on or waiting to see Elmo.  They are now at your fingertips.  You may be asking yourselves, what’s wrong with that?  I, on the other hand, am seeing this spill over in to other aspects of these children’s lives & development. 

Waiting to be seated at a restaurant for example; I would pack a diaper bag with the essentials, including a book, a toy, maybe some crayons & a coloring book.  Now, it is so easy to hand a child a Smartphone with an “app” downloaded to keep their child occupied, keeping parental interaction at a minimal. 

Soothing children every time they cry with whatever it takes, be it in the middle of the night by taking them into your own bed or giving them what they were pleading for though undeserving.  I cannot wrap my head around the thought of this having a positive impact on the child or the marriage. Crying is not going to hurt your child.

My son would have tantrums, he was indeed a normal toddler and yes it was hell for me, his dad & my family which we lived with at the time, but we all survived. 

It will be interesting as these children grow up, to see the directions that they head.  Maybe I am wrong and it will all turn out O.K.; however, I have my doubts.  I will always believe in teaching your child patience and having parental interaction.