Daddy's Little Girl

I was always daddy's little girl.  Everything that the man did interested me to the nth degree; whether he was giving the station wagon a tune up or was just changing the oil, I was right by his side.  He built our play house in our backyard, I was handing him a hammer.  I installed air conditioners with him, painted with him, landscaped with him, & fixed toilets, just wanting to suck in any time that I could with my dad; not even thinking that he was teaching me SO much.  Now, I have multiple tool boxes and many DIY skills.

Along with manual labor, my father is very spiritual.  He loves Jesus & would scream it from the roof tops.  I have also inherited this from him.  I am not as vocal about my Faith, but It is and has been instilled in me at a very young age.  My Faith has gotten me through my life.  I have a conscience and try to be the very best version of myself.  It isn't always easy, but I am learning that this process is not one that happens overnight.

My father is also, according to many, a pretty funny guy.  I always thought he was corny, well, because I've heard all his shenanigans over and over.  He makes people laugh on a daily basis and loves to see people happy.  He gets disappointed when people don't "get" him or his style of humor.  I also love to see people happy and my sense of humor is pretty similar to my dad's.  Yes, I am ridiculously corny, but I wouldn't be Sarah otherwise.

By now I think all of you know how incredible I think my dad is, I could go on & on.  His current illness has brought many feelings to the surface; good & bad.  Overall, my dad did a pretty good job with the whole Fatherhood thing...at least with me, daddy's little girl.

My So Called Life...

This morning I was watching a rerun of "My So Called Life".  Remember how great that show was?  I will never tire of seeing it and it immediately brings me back in time.  In today's episode, Angela had just gotten back from hanging out with her friends and her father was up when she came home.  Angela's dad offered to heat up some dinner for her; they show her at the dinner table with her dad and if you are familiar with the show, she narrates her thoughts to the viewers.  In this instance she says, "When my dad heats something up, it tastes better then when anyone else does."  My eyes filled.

My father has cancer.  He was diagnosed 2+ years ago with Multiple Myeloma (MM).  MM is a cancer of the blood plasma; while this type of cancer stems from the bones it is not a bone cancer.  When Pop was diagnosed, he was just about to retire from General Motors where he worked for 50 years.  He was a hard worker, 14-15 hours a day was nothing to him.  He worked hard for his family and couldn't wait to finally celebrate his golden years with his bride.  Pop was diagnosed as being in stage 3 of 3.  They started him on treatment immediately which didn't work.  Over 2 years of numerous treatments and a clinical trial they are still looking for a treatment that might work.
Today he was admitted to the hospital.  He is very ill.  His blood pressure is high, his blood counts are low, he is dry heaving and can't keep anything down.  They are running tests, so right now we know that it isn't pneumonia.  Thank goodness, but they don't know what it is. I am currently asking everyone for positive thoughts and prayers.

While I was watching Angela Chase speak with her father on "My So Called Life" this morning, I mentioned my eyes filled.  I had no idea my father was waiting in the ER.  My eyes filled with awesome memories of my pop.  Pop and I always had a special relationship.  I would be able to talk to Pop about everything.  We fight, man do we fight, but we get each other.  He doesn't have this same relationship with my brother or sister.  It is ours.  A father - daughter relationship all it's own.  
Cut from the same cloth some might say.  That used to make me SO mad.  He was such a jerk and so closed minded; why would anyone want to be like him and am I supposed to take this as a compliment?!?  As I got older I knew that I was exactly like Pop.  That everyone was right.  How dare they?  I, on the other hand, have decided to take the things that I don't like about Pop and change them about me as much as I could. 
A better version of him; James Burns, 2.0 perhaps.  Isn't that what we're supposed to do after all?  Try to be the BEST VERSION of ourselves always.