Love Thy Neighbor

"Treat Others the Way YOU Want to be Treated"

I was in high school when Nelson Mandela was released from prison.  Apartheid. Segregation; these are words from another era.  An era that we hear our grandparents and parents speak of.  It's not supposed to be something that I remember seeing on the news, but it is.  Mandela, being such a peaceful man, held no animosity for those who imprisoned him, only love.  

He is quoted as saying that “No one is born hating another person because of the color of his skin, or his background, or his religion. People must learn to hate, and if they can learn to hate, they can be taught to love, for love comes more naturally to the human heart than its opposite.”  

People must learn to hate?  That is sickening, but as we all know there are still people who are teaching this by their actions.  I am so thankful that I didn't grow up with that hatred and I am proud to say that my son does not have that hatred.  In fact, I made sure that he grew up in a house where accepting people was the only option.  Everyone was welcome in my home, unless there was an extenuating circumstance (e.g. being a brat) proving otherwise.  Another public issue that Mandela wasn't afraid to address was AIDS, he was personally affected by the epidemic when his son passed away from the disease, this was a man who knew that he wasn't above the issues, but made sure that education and awareness were abundant to those willing to listen and learn.

I also just had a similar conversation with my brother after seeing Dallas Buyers Club over Thanksgiving weekend.  WOW, what a movie.  Outstanding performances!!  Everyone should go out and see this movie.  

After the movie my brother, who is 8 years older than I, were discussing AIDS in the 1980's.  He obviously remembers way more about the emerging of this disease into society then I do.  The first time I remember hearing/seeing the word AIDS was when I was standing in line at the ACME supermarket and on a People Magazine was a headline about Rock Hudson dying.  I asked my mom, who I was with at the time, who Rock Hudson was and what was AIDS?  A normal question for a 10 year old.  I don't remember what my mom's explanation was.  I am honestly not sure if she or anyone who wasn't in "medicine" knew for sure what it was.  I do know that it was essentially considered a death sentence in the 80's; then in 1991 Magic Johnson announced that he was HIV positive.  He has lived for two decades with the disease and is an advocate through The Magic Johnson Foundation, educating people each and everyday, because although HIV can be controlled with medication and a healthy lifestyle, it is important to enlighten people about how important prevention and early detection can be.

In Dallas Buyers Club, one gets a taste of what it was like for gays in the 1980's.  I cannot believe there was a time when people shunned homosexuals with such hatred simply because of who they decided to love or people in general because they didn't have the same skin color.  

I, myself, have so many different types of friends that I can't fathom anyone treating them with anything but respect.  I know not everyone shares that view, my eyes are not covered with rose-colored glasses, but I am so glad that I live in a time where it is becoming more acceptable to be who you are and love who you want.  

Mindfulness

“The present moment is filled with joy and happiness. If you are attentive, you will see it.” ~ Thích Nhất Hạnh

Recently, I picked up a Women's Health magazine in which I found a fascinating article linking mind and body.  We all, of course, know that our minds and bodies are heavily linked; how one treats ones body affects ones mind and vice-versa, obviously not news to us.

This article jumped out at me because I found it so on target with things that have been going currently in my mind and being. The author wrote about "mindfulness". According to the article,  "Mindfulness is a full awareness of precisely what is happening in the present."

Many of us find ourselves in a burned-out, stressed and anxious state, always worrying about the past or what is going to happen if; to be still and and to clear the chatter going on in ones head.  Sounds much easier then it is, at least for me.  Mindfulness means NO OVER-ANALYZING and NO OVER-THINKING; letting what will be, be and letting your thoughts flow fluidly with out picking them apart. 

How much time have we all wasted only to be let down when one's plans don't come into fruition? We cannot constantly be worrying about what the future will hold and feeling let down when "it" doesn't happen the way we planned "it"; if we live in the present chances are we will not miss our kids growing up and all the wonderful things that are happening around us right now.   

I was recently laid off.  I am scared, but I have to look at the possibilities of what I can do with this crappy hand that I was recently dealt.  I am determined to get myself back to school and graduate with Bachelors degree; before I read this article I was thinking of putting this huge step off until I found a job.  In my head, I needed the financial stability to get started, but after speaking with many recruiters and after reading this article I was reminded that there is not a whole lot that we can control about our futures.  I may be out of work for some time and thus putting off my dreams even longer.  I can't let this opportunity slip through my fingers worrying about the bill after I graduate when I haven't even taken a class yet. 

Can I be mindful enough take that leap-of-faith and live in the present?  Things will work out if and only if I apply myself now.  I know that I am setting myself up for a much brighter future whatever it brings.

Ready or Not. Transitions.

It sometimes seems like I have all the words and then lately it seems like I don't have any...or maybe just not the right ones.

Everything is moving so quickly. 

It's like you threw your cap up on graduation day and are now trying frantically to find it.  Misplaced, but rummaging through the same things.  You could pick up any old cap and call it your own, but you're determined to find YOURS.  The PANIC.  The CHAOS.  Was is worth it?

Your answer:  ABSOLUTELY!  You can't imagine it any other way.

I believe it was worth every second.  It's been 18 years since I found out my life was going to change, everyday I was misplaced, trying to find my way, rummaging to find the answers.  STILL rummaging to find the answers.  Every age comes with a different challenge, the older they become the more intense the conflicts, the harder it is.  IT IS AGONIZING. 

It is lately that I am dealing with this acutely opinionated young man, accelerating towards adulthood.  EXHAUSTING.

Next week he will be graduating from high school; in a couple of months he will be starting his freshman year in college.  BITTERSWEET.  We clicked on the submit button to accept financial aid, then to accept loans and with each click the nausea kicks in.  My son is entering adulthood, BUT is not yet 18 years old.  SCARY.

What is even scarier is that I will have to learn how to live by myself.  In all of my adult life I have never lived by myself or for myself.  It is going to be a HUGE adaption; like learning to operate after losing a body part (I can only imagine).  I am hardly looking forward to this transition.  CONFUSION.

We, truth be told, have been fighting A LOT.  Do we need to live apart sooner then later?  YES, if only to save a life; his and/or mine.  BITTERSWEET.  After all, every breath that I have taken, every decision that  have made has been for the love of my only child.  HEART-BREAKING.

TRANSITIONS are a part of life, a GOOD PART of life.  THRIVING.

On the fence, over the fence...who put this fence here?

I came very close to ending my blog; in fact I am still on the fence about opening my soul to every person I know and then some (I get nervous butterflies every time I press 'Publish').  The last blog that I wrote prompted someone to write something that I considered derogatory and disgusting as a comment.  I was so taken back by this.  I am well aware that a lot of people have access to what I write, but this person is someone who knows me (acknowledging my second employer by name, something that I didn't divulge in the post).  My heart broke.  This blog is so far from my comfort zone, that I kept it private for months before I shared it with the world.  I thought that the people that I surround myself with were true friends, the people that I write about, the people that I adore.  Clearly, this is unrequited adoration.

I have received messages from people who actually like what I write.  Maybe they can relate, maybe it makes people laugh, maybe they're bored; either way they are reading what I write and liking it.  I like writing; I write to vent, to clear my head, to keep myself honest.

I don't write a controversial blog, so I don't know why someone would purposely write something hurtful, but I don't think that I am ready to give it up.  Perhaps I need a thicker skin or to be more selective on who I choose to be my friends.

I am not going to regress on my progress and cower from one hater.  It's not who I am.  I have been through some pretty tough things in my fairly short life.  I'll be damn if I let a mean commenter get the better of me!  Just sayin'

You can't silence me that easily!

April Showers...May Flowers.

“April showers bring May flowers” is a saying that dates back to the 1500s.  This saying, credited to Thomas Tusser, is a reminder that even the most unpleasant of events bring forth enjoyable things; perhaps a lesson in patience.

Many of life’s pleasure come to those who wait; patiently waiting and enduring the clouds and dampness of an April day, you will find it easier to take in the smells, colors, and simply the beauty of May.

The rain creates a moisture rich soil helping plants to grow faster & stronger, creating a positive stimulus helping nutrients reach the roots faster.  The temperatures are slowly escalating; as the temperatures rise plants find it easier to grow.  They start to thrive when the ground starts to thaw, the combination of this and rainfall brings life to seeds.  The return of insects plays a vital part bringing forth the beauties of springtime.  They pollinate and fertilize which is so important to the reproduction of these beautiful products of spring. 

This often happens in life; when it seems as if life has a stretch of bleak days & unhappiness seem to be filling our hearts, it is important to remember that these are the days where life is preparing us for “flowers”.  Life is helping us to grow, become stronger and to thrive. 

When people are having a hard time waiting for those glorious May days, they may decide to bring spring flowers into the home, doing what is necessary to create the sense of warmth that we are bound for with the change of the season.  We must also do this by surrounding ourselves with positivity and beauty; those beautiful days will come and when they do we will be thankful that we had the proper cultivating that we needed to embrace the blessings in our lives.