Reflect and Be Thankful

It's Thanksgiving!!  All over the United States Americans are reflecting on the things that they are most thankful for.  It isn't a secret that 2013 has been a struggle for me and that I have absolutely had some up and down, but as I reflect this year I am thankful for so many things.

First of all I am thankful for my relationship with my son.  I am so blessed to have him in my life; being a young mom hasn't always been easy, but Bryan's existence has made me a better person.  It has weeded out people who shouldn't be in my life and he has brought people into my life who I can't imagine living without.  Bryan is teaching me all the time.  I hope that we never stop learning from each other and only become closer and he grows into and embraces his fabulousness even more (if that's possible!) and becomes the young man God created him to be.

Then, there is my Pop.  My darling father.  Jim Burns is my inspiration and an all around remarkable human being.  If you are ever blessed enough to meet him, then you are one lucky person.  My father is a recovering alcoholic and has been sober for 17 years. He has been battling cancer for close to 5 years; he is literally in pain everyday, but I never hear him complain.  He lost his wife, my mother, close to 2 years ago.  He is still fighting each and everyday and had such faith that everything is just as they were meant to be.  I am thankful for my conversations with him; he is so insightful.  We don't always agree, but always hear each other.  He loves sports, westerns and loves to make people laugh.  He is truly on of my best friends.


I am thankful for our 14 year old dog, Leo AKA Leonard DiCaprio (da Vinci if you ask Bryan) Puppychow Heek Boyer.  He has been through thick and thin with Bryan and I and still loves us.  Leo is sweet and annoying and as handsome as can be, recently he has been having some health issues, but it makes me appreciate him even more and what an important part of the family he has been.

I don't know how to put into words how thankful I am for ALL of my AMAZING friends.  I know that everyone thinks that they have the greatest friends and that is a blessing if you can express that, but I am here to say that I am blessed each and everyday with the privileged of knowing the kindest people ever.  The Lord has been so gracious to have placed these people in my life; some for decades, some more recently, their loyalty is unwavering.  I am forever grateful for them.

I am thankful for those men and woman who voluntarily join the Armed Forces; also for their families who also have to sacrifice so much for them to be the brave people they were destine to be.  Thank you.  There aren't enough thank yous for your decision to protect us.

As I sit here typing this blog I am thankful for my tiny apartment, "The Attic".  I am thankful for the heat that is pumping through the radiators.  I pray for those who are homeless and aren't able to find shelter.

Losing my job just a few weeks ago has opened my eyes to what could disappear SO easily and what many Americans have lost. Everything that I am looking at in my home right now is because I have been blessed, but when you are knocked down a few pegs these things are just things when you don't have the love, support and positivity of the people who you surround yourself with.

I hope everyone takes  the time to reflect on all of the things in their lives, everything that has lead up to this moment and has made you who you are. If you are blessed enough to spend time with your family on holidays and special occasions, pray for those who spend these same days alone.

Mindfulness

“The present moment is filled with joy and happiness. If you are attentive, you will see it.” ~ Thích Nhất Hạnh

Recently, I picked up a Women's Health magazine in which I found a fascinating article linking mind and body.  We all, of course, know that our minds and bodies are heavily linked; how one treats ones body affects ones mind and vice-versa, obviously not news to us.

This article jumped out at me because I found it so on target with things that have been going currently in my mind and being. The author wrote about "mindfulness". According to the article,  "Mindfulness is a full awareness of precisely what is happening in the present."

Many of us find ourselves in a burned-out, stressed and anxious state, always worrying about the past or what is going to happen if; to be still and and to clear the chatter going on in ones head.  Sounds much easier then it is, at least for me.  Mindfulness means NO OVER-ANALYZING and NO OVER-THINKING; letting what will be, be and letting your thoughts flow fluidly with out picking them apart. 

How much time have we all wasted only to be let down when one's plans don't come into fruition? We cannot constantly be worrying about what the future will hold and feeling let down when "it" doesn't happen the way we planned "it"; if we live in the present chances are we will not miss our kids growing up and all the wonderful things that are happening around us right now.   

I was recently laid off.  I am scared, but I have to look at the possibilities of what I can do with this crappy hand that I was recently dealt.  I am determined to get myself back to school and graduate with Bachelors degree; before I read this article I was thinking of putting this huge step off until I found a job.  In my head, I needed the financial stability to get started, but after speaking with many recruiters and after reading this article I was reminded that there is not a whole lot that we can control about our futures.  I may be out of work for some time and thus putting off my dreams even longer.  I can't let this opportunity slip through my fingers worrying about the bill after I graduate when I haven't even taken a class yet. 

Can I be mindful enough take that leap-of-faith and live in the present?  Things will work out if and only if I apply myself now.  I know that I am setting myself up for a much brighter future whatever it brings.

When God Closes a Door, He Opens a Window

I cannot believe that I have only written 9 blogs this year.  Pathetic.  I have had so much to say.

A few months ago I had been dealing with my anxiety, my very horrible anxiety that lasted throughout the whole entire summer.  Alas, I surrendered and got the help that I needed to get myself in check and start to feel like myself again.

Now as most of you know for the last two plus years I have had 2 jobs.  I like to keep myself busy and more importantly out of my head.  At the end of this past September, things changed suddenly at my full-time job.  I came back from lunch and I found out that one of our biggest clients was closing its doors; over the next few weeks there were meetings upon meetings and lots of ideas being tossed in the air to try to keep the doors of the office, which seemed like home to me, open.  Unfortunately, my bosses had to make some very difficult decisions.  They had no choice but to lay myself and most of my co-workers off.

This has been especially hard because this is a job that I liked a lot.  I left for a couple of years, but was offered my job back, so without hesitation I found my way home.  This particular job has had many highs and lows.  I have met so many amazing people who have been an incredible help to Bryan and I throughout my 11 years knowing them.  I have cried when life got hard and they cried with me and laughter GALORE!!  We yelled at each other and made up.  They embraced me and held my hands, never leaving my side when I got the news that my mother died suddenly.  I was meant to be around people who loved me.

There are the people who I was in contact with daily.  The other people who filled my days with laughter.  My favorites who were now out of work as well.  I miss their voices.  We worked like a well-oiled machine together.  I was glad to have them in my life.

October rolls around and I am job hunting.  My full-time job has become finding a full-time job.  It is exhausting.  I am explaining to people my current situation and they are uber-positive that I will be employed in no time.  "When God closes a door, He opens a window" they say.  I have been hearing this phrase in a variety of different way for weeks now; all true, but I need to find this window.

I do believe life gives one opportunities and one can either waste them or cultivate them.  I can't sit at home and waste my brain on day-time TV, so with this opportunity that God presented me with I think I will be going back to school.  A four-year college is in my immediate future and I am scared.  It has been 15 years since I took my last class at community college and EVERYTHING has changed.  EVERYTHING!!

I am a notorious commitment-phobe in every aspect of my being.  It is the scariest thing ever for me, so committing myself to a four-year college is huge, but this is a subject for a different blog.

Don't worry I will still be job searching; I have an interview suit ready for when I am able to land one and I am excited to get back to work.  I had to peek out this open window and see what this other path offered...apparently life has other plans for me.