I love my YMCA!!

I love my YMCA!  Yes, it's true.

I have been a member for 2 1/2 years or so.  I go 4 or 5 days a week and most of the time you can find me in a group exercise class.  A couple of weeks ago, it was announced that one of our beloved group exercise instructor would be leaving.  She would be moving back to Florida to accept another position.  She and her family are more then happy to move back to the place that they spent so many years.

All of the members at the YMCA are so saddened by this news.  This woman who is admired by men & women alike.  The YMCA's is about strengthening spirit, mind and body, all of which Cindy represents.  She has warmth and compassion, a positive energy that is through the roof and accompanied by a smile on any given day.  A true roll model for the all members.  Don't let that sweet disposition fool you though!  She will kick your butt in class and makes you want to work for it. Cindy is sweating along with you, wanting you to reach your personal best.

She has brought us together for game nights and fund-raisers; through all these different events she has brought all of her "students" closer.  We all are friends and care about the well being of each other.  We push each other and have this amazing fellowship.  Cindy has done her job and now has to touch other lives the way she has touched all of ours.

Tonight we will be getting together to say bye to her.  To wish her happiness and blessings in the place she loves and calls home.  We are thanking God tonight that she came into our lives and that she has family in the area to come back and visit.

Beer muscles?

Beer muscles: a toughness or bravado one shows when aided by consuming many beers.

We all are familiar with the term "beer muscles".  We have often been witness to such acts of bravado or may be even have partaken in flexing those muscles.
Well, I have to admit, I think I have the same situation when I drink wine.  I may not want to beat people up, nope not at all. Here is where I my problem lies: I am going to confess, that when I drink 2 or more glasses of wine I think that I am super yoga/Pilate girl.  This, my friends, is a total non-truth, but I find myself "practicing" (or trying to practice) yoga.  This is not a recent occurrence.  I can remember being at parties and all of a sudden my friends and I are breaking out into a teaser and various other Pilate postures/exercises while playing drinking games.  All of us wondering why we were more then just hung over the next morning, but actually sore from working out...well, kind of working out. 
I am not sure what makes me think I can hold these poses when I am tippling because I have a hard enough time when I am in a flow class, but there I am in my living room in tree pose, or practicing Lola.  The Crane, seriously I have no business pursuing Mr. Bird Pose just yet, without killing myself that is.  It doesn't stop me from trying.

Maybe I am flirting with this insanity; and we ALL know that flirting comes much easier with a couple of drinks.  So I've heard. ;)

We should live everyday like we want to get into Heaven

Today, May 21st, the day Harold Camping, a preacher from the south predicted it would be the end of the world.  I, didn't buy it for a second, but this prediction has received world wide attention.  I treated today just like every other Saturday.
After more then a week of rain, the sun was shining brightly today.  I took the dog for a long walk, watched a little bit of TV and got ready for mass at 5 pm.  At mass is where Father sarcastically joked about "the end of the world" and maybe that is why church was so packed and that it was happening in just 40 minutes, so he better keep his homily short; then he ask, if it is was the last day what would we do differently?  He then went on to say that we shouldn't be doing anything different.  A perfect example of why we should live everyday like we want to get into heaven.
This "end of the world" prediction was not correct.  As a Catholic Christians we believe that only God knows when Jesus will return to Earth, but it did make me reflect on how I have been living and would I be chosen to live with Him in Heaven.  So many people asked me this week why is our God so judgmental; I don't believe he is.  I believe He will look back at our lives our whole life, good and bad; I believe that if we are truly sorry for the bad, then He will forgive us and we will be able to enter the Kingdom.
Living a good life is hard, having a positive outlook, looking at the good in ALL people and forgiving are ALL hard things to do.  Jesus didn't promise loving him would be easy, but well worth it.
Now, I am not a holy roller.  I go to church on a weekly basis, because it feels good for me.  I don't try to convert people or quote scripture passages, but I do try to be as good as a person as I can, just so I can look at my face in the mirror every morning.  So far, so good.

Comfy Clothes

I love when I come home from work and get into my comfy clothes.  There is nothing better!!!  I cannot be the only one who looks forward to sweat pants after 5 pm.  These days I hardly ever get to experience that. 

After work, I now change into my gym clothes, eat a quick snack and head out the door to the local YMCA.  I am addicted to the group exercise classes and am probably make an appearance 4 or 5 days a week.  I was spending too much time in sweat pants and started to not be able to fit into my normal pants.  That is bad business!!  In this economy I cannot afford a bigger (literally) wardrobe, so the YMCA it is. 

Don't fear, I still treat myself to comfy clothes, now it is just on Friday nights after a combat class or flow.  I visit the liquor store pick of a couple bottles of my favorite red wines and a tomato pie, pop in a selection from Netflix and ahhhhhh!!!  Comfy clothes, the perfect end of the week treat for the working, athletic woman.  After all, we deserve to be comfortable!  We have worked hard all week.  Time to relax.

The Jersey Shore

Last night I couldn't sleep.  As, I mentioned before, my father has Multiple Myeloma.  He has been in the hospital since Saturday.  He went in for a intestinal infection and is still there.  The doctors aren't hopeful that any further treatment will help because he is just too sick; hence the sleeplessness.

While I was up last night, I was thinking back to when I was a teenager.  All my friends loved Pop,  he was always good for a story and a joke.  My pop was actually not totally uncool.  Weird right?!?  That is why when he would ask me to go down the sea shore with him for the day, I would always say yes.  Sometimes just us with our radio, sometimes I would bring a  friend; truth be told, I always liked it better when it was just Pop and I.  We are one soul.  He is my hero.

Multiple Myeloma is slowly draining him of his time here on earth and I hate it.  I understand him and he tries to understand me.  We don't always see eye to eye, we fight like no other, but there is no one else I would rather go down the shore with.  I will never ever look at the sand and surf without thinking of him.

Invisible kindness

It was the end of April when the co-owners of the company called an "all employee" meeting.  All morning I walked around with anxiety thinking about what this meeting was going to be about.  I don't even remember the last time that we had an "all employee" meeting.
My company consists of 15 people.  Fifteen people who have worked side-by-side for years; some since the start of the company in 2002. 
At the meeting, the bosses told us that because business was so slow they would be cutting our hours back to 32 hours; this would be instead of laying off 4 people.  No one wants to see anyone leave, so we were all on board.  It would be like losing a family member.  We were told this would be for the whole month of May and that they would revisit the situation in June.
It is now the middle of May; just two weeks into the dreaded month & things are tight.  Plans are being cancelled, by not just me, but everyone.  Tears are flowing and the office is silent.  Today, I went in to ask, realistically was June looking any better.  My answer was what I suspected, but not what I wanted to hear.  Tears.
This just sucks is all I can say.  People have it so much worse then I do, so how am I going to complain?  Everyone is just bummed out, but when I came out of work today there was something shoved into the drivers side window.  I pulled it out and it was $5.00.  Just $5.00, but that bill put a smile on my face.  First of all, I thought well that's weird.  Who does something like that?  Then, I felt guilty.  Well, what if the person thought I had lost it? Then, I thought someone, somewhere is looking out for me.  Five dollars, not much money on a grand scale, but I was on my last roll of toilet paper.
Thank you to the kind stranger.  When I can, I will pay-it-forward.  I pinky swear.

Barossa & Beyond

Last night was a much needed night out.  This past week has been quiet emotional with my dad being in the hospital.  The sleeplessness and everything that comes with that made for a long and torturous week.  My friend invited me out to a wine tasting in the beginning if the week.  I was wishy washy about going, but then gave a solid yes within minutes. 

My friend lives in Philadelphia, near the Art Museum.  She had gotten tickets to a wine tasting at the Wine School of Philadelphia for a wine education & tasting class.  Yes, I get it, I sound like a big dork, but I do love my wine & I do love love to hang out with my girls.  I hopped on the train after work and was in the city in less then an hour.  It was an absolute perfect night to do anything in the city; clear skies & 65 degrees. 

The wine class was called Barossa & Beyond and they were pouring Australian wines; old vine, expensive Australian wines.  Perfection.  The class was really neat, laid back & honest.  I had no idea what to expect. 

The girl, my friend who I went with had asked me all week what she could do to help; I  have trouble asking for help and vocalizing how I feel, but she knew exactly what I needed last night.  It's just funny how people who love you just know.

My So Called Life...

This morning I was watching a rerun of "My So Called Life".  Remember how great that show was?  I will never tire of seeing it and it immediately brings me back in time.  In today's episode, Angela had just gotten back from hanging out with her friends and her father was up when she came home.  Angela's dad offered to heat up some dinner for her; they show her at the dinner table with her dad and if you are familiar with the show, she narrates her thoughts to the viewers.  In this instance she says, "When my dad heats something up, it tastes better then when anyone else does."  My eyes filled.

My father has cancer.  He was diagnosed 2+ years ago with Multiple Myeloma (MM).  MM is a cancer of the blood plasma; while this type of cancer stems from the bones it is not a bone cancer.  When Pop was diagnosed, he was just about to retire from General Motors where he worked for 50 years.  He was a hard worker, 14-15 hours a day was nothing to him.  He worked hard for his family and couldn't wait to finally celebrate his golden years with his bride.  Pop was diagnosed as being in stage 3 of 3.  They started him on treatment immediately which didn't work.  Over 2 years of numerous treatments and a clinical trial they are still looking for a treatment that might work.
Today he was admitted to the hospital.  He is very ill.  His blood pressure is high, his blood counts are low, he is dry heaving and can't keep anything down.  They are running tests, so right now we know that it isn't pneumonia.  Thank goodness, but they don't know what it is. I am currently asking everyone for positive thoughts and prayers.

While I was watching Angela Chase speak with her father on "My So Called Life" this morning, I mentioned my eyes filled.  I had no idea my father was waiting in the ER.  My eyes filled with awesome memories of my pop.  Pop and I always had a special relationship.  I would be able to talk to Pop about everything.  We fight, man do we fight, but we get each other.  He doesn't have this same relationship with my brother or sister.  It is ours.  A father - daughter relationship all it's own.  
Cut from the same cloth some might say.  That used to make me SO mad.  He was such a jerk and so closed minded; why would anyone want to be like him and am I supposed to take this as a compliment?!?  As I got older I knew that I was exactly like Pop.  That everyone was right.  How dare they?  I, on the other hand, have decided to take the things that I don't like about Pop and change them about me as much as I could. 
A better version of him; James Burns, 2.0 perhaps.  Isn't that what we're supposed to do after all?  Try to be the BEST VERSION of ourselves always. 

Loyalty lies in your fan-hood...

I love sports.  A Lot!!  I grew up and live in the suburbs of Philadelphia, a huge sports city; from college sports to professional sports, we have mega-fans.  Philadelphia sports fans have a passion unlike no other.  It's our way or no way.  You want to leave a team for another because they are offering you more money?  We will disown you and shout it from the roof-tops.  You must always choose US, the Philadelphia fans!! Why wouldn't you want to?  We are so friendly in this this City of Brotherly Love.

My absolute favorite sports are baseball & hockey.  I watch almost every Phillies & Flyers game they televise.  The organizations with the longest seasons, I am aware.  It is not a secret that I am loyal in every aspect of my being.  The sports that I choose to love are just another example.  What I enjoy even more is attending the games live.  The Philadelphia fans are just as you imagine them.  We are energetic and emotional.  The fans feed off of each other and the atmosphere at a live game is exhilarating.  Pure adrenaline rush.  I also love to watch lacrosse and soccer.  The Wings are an amazing team who deserve more acknowledgement for their accomplishments and with the addition of the Union we have become a soccer city.  My son grew up playing soccer, so it is a sport that I  thoroughly enjoy and actually understand.  I used to be quite the soccer mom.  In fact my enthusiasm almost got me ejected from a couple of games.  Whoops.

I grew up in a neighborhood of boys.  It was pretty much just my sister and I, then about 7-10 neighborhood boys.  They let me play all the time.  Sports have always been in my blood. I, myself, played softball until I was in high school, but always exercised and have always tried to stay physical.

Tonight, I sit here watching the Philadelphia Flyers in the Stanley Cup Playoffs while I am following the Philadelphia Phillies via smart phone.  Whatever sport you chose to direct your fan-hood be loyal and make sure that you are having a good ol' fashion fun time.

Own your Motherhood.

Motherhood is a roller coaster ride.

As I have mentioned before I have a teenager, a 16 year old to be exact.  I had him while I was a teenager (not something I recommend, by the way).  I'll be honest, I was not a fan of kids when I was younger.  I never had a baby-sitting job and the thought of sticky fingers made me ill, but there I was faced to face with motherhood.  When I found out that I was pregnant I cried and cried; knowing that termination was never something I would consider, I was faced with the decision of raising this child or adoption.  What a decision for a teenager to make;  the same teen who could barely decide what to wear to school that day.  I remember the discussion with his dad.  He swore that he would take care of us and not walk away.  How could I be so trusting?  How could this be happening to me?  But I was "in love", so I trusted.

When Bryan was born I still lived with my parents and his dad lived with his mom.  A couple of years later his father and I married, eventually bought a house.  Dan was telling the truth, he really was taking care of us.  We eventually divorced, but Bryan's dad was always a good dad.  Soccer coach, always at back to school nights, and I religiously forward him Bryan's school progress reports.

Even though I have been doing this motherhood thing for 16+ years, I still don't feel like I own it.  Motherhood.  My mom, now she owned motherhood.  She had three kids, two of us are 13 months apart.  As, she reminds me, she had 2 in diapers.  We had family dinners every night.  I mean real home cooked dinners.  She was a room mother, a lunch lady, a car pool driver; she was everything.  My friends loved her, after all she knew them all.  She also was blessed enough to be a stay-at-home mom. 

I am blessed.  Blessed because his dad made good on his promise.  Blessed because it turns out that I have a truly awesome kid.  Not a perfect kid, but he grew up with values and and morals.  I always let him form his own opinions and boy does he voice them.  He works, he gets good grades and has manners and respect.
I was always a working mother.  A mother with a full-time job.  A mother who couldn't always be in school at Christmas parties or go on class trips.  I don't always have dinner on the table at 6 p.m. & I only had to keep track of one child.  I feel like Mother's Day isn't a holiday for me, not because I lack mothering skills, but because everyone who has helped me along the way deserves recognition.  So many people who love us, who have been through every step with us, they deserve to be honored.  I am just a mom who has the best blessing ever; a beautiful baby boy who has grown into a handsome young man.

Happy Mother's Day to all Mom's!  You are blessed.

Compromising happiness.

Single life.  I make it look so glamorous.  Honestly, it is not as glamorous as it seems which is why it saddens me when my friends come to me telling me that they are thinking about divorce.  Ugh.  Do they really know what this entails?  Because while I know that I have handled my own situations with grace & strength, it is hard!!!

What is harder and more common, is when people come to me and confide that they aren't happy in their marriage, but "can't" do anything about it.  Where would they go?  Who would help them?  How could they afford living by themselves?  My heart breaks for them.  These people are feeling helpless and I just can't imagine that.  Of course, these same thoughts went though my head.  I was scared.  I was young, but helpless?  Never. 

There are too many people who aren't being true to themselves.  I am not an advocate of divorce by any means, but how much do people have to compromise to have what seems to any third party a perfect life, a perfect marriage?  These same people that I once envied aren't happy.  The people who I thought had it all, don't.  I cannot imagine not being able to be myself or losing myself to the point of being miserable everyday.  I hope to have a long life & I am not going to settle for anything less then I deserve.  It may take me a while to get there; with the grace of God, find a wonderful man, but right now I can be thankful that I have my strength of spirit & patience.

I will not pretend for one minute that I am happy when I'm not.

April Showers...May Flowers.

“April showers bring May flowers” is a saying that dates back to the 1500s.  This saying, credited to Thomas Tusser, is a reminder that even the most unpleasant of events bring forth enjoyable things; perhaps a lesson in patience.

Many of life’s pleasure come to those who wait; patiently waiting and enduring the clouds and dampness of an April day, you will find it easier to take in the smells, colors, and simply the beauty of May.

The rain creates a moisture rich soil helping plants to grow faster & stronger, creating a positive stimulus helping nutrients reach the roots faster.  The temperatures are slowly escalating; as the temperatures rise plants find it easier to grow.  They start to thrive when the ground starts to thaw, the combination of this and rainfall brings life to seeds.  The return of insects plays a vital part bringing forth the beauties of springtime.  They pollinate and fertilize which is so important to the reproduction of these beautiful products of spring. 

This often happens in life; when it seems as if life has a stretch of bleak days & unhappiness seem to be filling our hearts, it is important to remember that these are the days where life is preparing us for “flowers”.  Life is helping us to grow, become stronger and to thrive. 

When people are having a hard time waiting for those glorious May days, they may decide to bring spring flowers into the home, doing what is necessary to create the sense of warmth that we are bound for with the change of the season.  We must also do this by surrounding ourselves with positivity and beauty; those beautiful days will come and when they do we will be thankful that we had the proper cultivating that we needed to embrace the blessings in our lives.