Hello wall...how you doin'?

This is going to be a much harder year then I thought.  Right now my head is spinning.

Today, I had an appointment with my son's school guidance counselor.  It was a good meeting, putting a lot of my anxiety to rest; that is until I just just got done speaking to...er, I mean arguing with, Bryan.  An argument which at the end had me in tears.  Parents, as awesome as your kids turn out, they will ALL still be teenagers at some point and well, as prepared as you think you are, nothing can prepare you for how mean they can be.

We are only in the 5th week of school, what could possibly be the issue?  College.  I feel like I am talking to a wall, kicking a dead horse perhaps.  Anyway you look at it, I am getting no where fast.  You would think that he'd be amped to get out and on his own.  I am willing to help him do whatever it takes for him to get into the schools he wants to apply to.  He is dragging his feet.  The fights are wearing me down.

Tonight, I broke.  I called my ex-husband in tears, woke him up, got him worried.  I had to let him know where I was in a matter of speaking.  I had to tell him so we didn't get played against each other; he is my partner in raising this person who insists on being my nemesis this week.  I CANNOT do this by myself, I never pretended any differently.  My sanity is on the brink of doom; it's time to bring in the big dog...his father.

Dan has a completely different relationship with Bryan then I do; he's a father and a pal.  They play video games, wrestle are complete @sses to each other, but there is respect.  There has always been respect.  I never wanted it any other way.  Bryan respects me as well, just in a different way which is fine in most circumstances, but when I have to pull out the dad card, believe me I do.

Dan and I are almost always on the same page when it comes to our son; if we aren't at first we discuss until we get there.  There is none of this "well, Dad said..." business; we have agreed to always be or at least try our best to be a united front.  Yes, we are divorced, but have the same goal in raising our son to be a successful young man, who can go into the world and make something of himself.  We want him to have better then we had (& be the least effed up as possible).

Right now, I cannot see the light at the end of the tunnel.  I know it is there, but it is only October.  My heart breaks at the thought of him leaving me to venture off to college in August, but right now I don't even want to see his precious face.  URGH!!