“Death is not the greatest loss in life. The greatest loss is what dies inside us while we live.” - Norman Cousins
I am little anxious tonight.
This past week my aunt passed. She was 61.
My aunt was 15 years younger then my uncle (my mom's brother). I remember being in their wedding when I was 4 years; they got married in Illinois and I was their flower girl. I thought she was super awesome, after all she had an original Led Zeppelin II album (still my favorite album EVER!). When we visited, I loved talking to her. I'd ask her a million questions and wouldn't leave her side, she was easy going and obviously one of my favorite relatives (not that I ever had that many to choose from).
She wasn't able to have children, so she and my uncle adopted my cousin when she was about 6 years old. My cousin completed their family, they/we were so happy to have her in their lives.
It all changed the day that we shared the news with them that I was pregnant with Bryan. Her reaction was selfish; that quickly I was not someone they wanted to have in their lives anymore. She said I was a bad influence on their now teenage daughter, but what it boiled down to was jealousy. I had no control over the situation; I have forgiven her a long time ago. She continued to choose to no long be a part of my life. My family, of course, stood right beside me, but my mom lost her brother that day. No one has had much contact except for when my grandmother passed for a split second, then things went back to silence.
"Forgiveness is the final form of love." ~Reinhold Niebuhr
Tomorrow we are burying my aunt. I will make the trip to bid my farewell. I will do this out of respect for my cousin who has to say goodbye to her mother, which I know is one of the hardest things anyone has to go through. I will be there for her just as she was for me.
I was blessed to have had the times I did when I was younger with my aunt, but I am MORE blessed that I now have a relationship with my cousin that I missed out on for so many years.
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